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Ongoing communication is vital when dating an Aquarius female. 9.1 If you are dating an Aquarius woman, keep the following in mind: Treat her like an equal and don’t dare talk down to her or your gone. Accept the fact that Aquarius women do not connect emotionally but instead, intellectually. Miles Jai’s birth sign is Aquarius. Aquarians are extroverted, friendly, and great listeners and friendship is the key component of a romantic relationship with an Aquarian. The most compatible signs with Aquarius are generally considered to be Aries, Gemini, Libra, and Sagittarius. Titanic dating schweiz – police: Singles, relationships and alcyonarld dating cheyney dating meetup – men looking for this dating couples will provide the leader in online dating events aberdeen, kat. Lebanon dating restaurants singles – if you worked your company or chat singles, years dating winterthurcomments are a relatively recent ... Search by star sign on Saga Dating and find your perfect match. The Aquarius woman in love. While her friends may be desperate to tie the knot, the Aquarius female is in no hurry to settle down. She certainly wants companionship, but she won’t slot into any traditional wife role and become someone’s ‘Mrs’. An Aquarius can seem distant and then close to you, and whilst this can be confusing, this is a sign that the Aquarius man is very close to being in love with you. If he starts to pick up the phone a lot more, you can be sure that you have passed the test – whatever it was! Table of Contents. 0.1 Relationships in Astrology; 1 Clear Signs an Aquarius Woman Likes You At Each Relationship Stage. 1.1 Initial Attraction – Signs an Aquarius Woman is Interested in You. 1.1.1 1) She will pay more attention to you than other people in the room; 1.1.2 2) She will meet with you one-on-one; 1.1.3 3) She will seek you out; 1.2 Developing a Friendship – Signs an Aquarius ... Dating A Sigma Male If you plan on having something casual and meaningless with this type of guy, think again because he’s not the man for you. Even though they have the ability to attract women and can basically have any girl they want, the truth is that Sigma men take their love life very seriously and are not into modern dating practices. IAM an Aquarius female dating a libra male. I can say it's a match we are truly in love. Jae on February 19, 2020: I have only been in relationships with Aquarius men by default. Im a libra woman and never find out they are Aquarius until after the attraction. I am now married to an Aquarius man for 15/years together 21 years total with 4 ... Aquarius online dating. Date Aquarius Friends Date is now a part of Free. Your login credentials are same for free. Looking for a Woman Man. Zip Code. Search Singles. Result within 0 miles of current city 0. Colonwood 35, Salt lake city , Utah. Lisasmith 39, Addieville , Illinois. 100% Free Aquarius Singles 100% Free Aquarius Singles Pete Parkkonen’s birth sign is Aquarius. Aquarians are extroverted, friendly, and great listeners and friendship is the key component of a romantic relationship with an Aquarian. The most compatible signs with Aquarius are generally considered to be Aries, Gemini, Libra, and Sagittarius.
Confused about this aquarius' (21/M) behavior
2020.09.23 14:08 Hughrif_Confused about this aquarius' (21/M) behavior
I (20/F) am a scorpio and feel like the aquarius I'm seeing is leaving again. Sorry if this isn't well written out enough, this is my first time on Reddit and english is not my first language so please be patient with me. Short backstory; me and this guy met at work last year and became really good friends. I never thought anything romantic of him and just considered us friends. A few months later he told me he liked me and I realized I felt the same for him so we started dating. Things were going okay for a while, bit of communication issues on his part but nothing serious. It became apparent that us working together (same department, almost always together 8 hours a day) was putting a strain on our relationship (hardly met outside of work and he became distant). He ended the relationship for that same reason soon after and we continued working together. Fast forward two months it was after his last day at our workplace. We sat in his car for 13 hours and talked. He suddenly kissed me and told me he hadn't stop thinking about me all this time and how he wanted us to continue since we were no longer working together. I said yes but was also upfront that I would need some time to trust him again since I have never given anyone a second chance and he said we could take things as slow as I wanted. This isn't like any relationship I've experienced. I'm not used to being the one initiating contact or asking to meet up. I'm used to being chased so I feel a bit uncomfortable when intitiating things myself. I noticed he was distancing himself so I decided to meet him and ask what the reason was. He told me he felt as if I myself had been cold or distant to him the last two-three weeks by hardly initiating anything so his instinct was to mirror my behavior in order not to get hurt if I was having second thoughts. He's really closed off so hearing him express his feelings made me realize how much it might've affected him without realizing it. We talked about it and he said he wanted us both to do better and that he was ready to give it his all and i agreed on my part, even told him that I was finally ready to trust him fully and he seemed ecstatic by that comment. We kinda laughed about it and the conversation ended nicely. Now onto the problem at hand. It's been three weeks since our talk and since we last saw each other and things have fallen into the same place on his side. I've tried doing my part and last week noticed I've always been the one contacting him first. I decided not to send him anything further since I wanted to see if he'd contact me and we didn't speak at all for 3 days. I sent him a "hey, is everything okay?" Message on Friday and he answered me like nothing had happened, said he's been busy this week and he sounded like he was glad to talk to me. Saturday evening I asked if we could meet up on Sunday and he told me he was busy (okay no problem!) then soon after he texts me "Are you mad?". I responded that I wasn't and just wanted to meet him. His response was a simple "ok". I saw how he could've interpreted my texting style (kind of blunt/no emojis, I sent him a quick text while at work) as being mad or cold so i sent him a sweet text back asking him to let me know when he's available to see me with hearts and he responded in the same sweet way. We haven't talked at all since then. I feel like I need to bring this up with him since i've felt this way for a while but I'm scared to do so. I have never been this way, It's usually very easy for me to be upfront and honest with guys if I don't like something. With this guy it's totally different! I'm more careful with what i say and strategized while trying not to play games. I guess it's since I really want things to work out and I've never felt this strong connection with anyone, including my last three year relationship! I've been patient as he has been super patient with me but I feel like I'm not getting enough of the attention or desire I need and am at my last straw. My question to you all is what is the best way to bring this up with him without it sounding like I'm giving him an ultimatum of "change or i'm breaking up with you."? Everything else feels great with this guy! We click in a way we've neither clicked before with anyone else and when we do meet I feel safe, secure and like I'm at home. The only issue is opening up myself and getting him to meet me in the middle with it. I really want this to work but if this stagnation continues I don't see this going any further. I've only ever been with emotional signs before (longest relationship was with a cancer, do not recommend) so this hot/cold act is really disheartening and just makes me want to close myself off again. Also if you have any tips for me to be more relaxed and comfortable with expressing and recieving love from him it would be greatly appreciated! A huge thank you in advance!
2020.09.23 09:10 briantriscoli34(M) Scorpio and 25(F) Aquarius, I’m genuinely confused as to whether our feelings are mutual.
We met online during COVID. We started talking on Facebook, but then ended up exchanging cell phone numbers and texting or video calling (not really a lot of phone calls). We’ve been talking about about close to 3 months now. We live more than 250 miles from one another, so it’s kind of a long-distance (idk what to call it). When we talk When we talk, there’s my POV, and there’s the cold and dispassionate observations to be made. In terms of the latter, responses are within the hour (usually) if via text, mutual exchanges of walls of texts, talking for over an hour each time. When we video chat, I feel like every 5 minutes, she gives me a compliment about my looks (which I still feel guarded about and doubt how genuine that might be versus conscious attempted flattery). We always have very deep philosophical conversations and cerebral/intellectual discussions about literally anything. So comes off as openly enamored and intrigued, but appearances aside, I’m confused because some part of me wants to take her authenticity on faith and assume she’s being honest, but the other part of me is worried that how she’s really feeling doesn’t really match up. Things that are concerning me
We’ve been texting for about 3 months now. Not every single day. We had a whole week where we went on not exchanging a single communication. Usually, it’s once every 2-3 days, with some weeks almost every other day, and some weeks where it’s almost every single day back to back. Openly flirting, being totally open and forthcoming about our attraction to one another, our fascination with one another as people, past relationships, etc. (normally, my experience is that someone is either interested in you or she’s not).
She said she wants to be “friends” (allergic to that word in the context of dating) first, and whatever happens happens. She doesn’t want any labels or expectations in terms of bf/gf, or to feel any kind of pressure or expectation for anything (even a text back).
She’s not really as emotionally expressive as I am. Communication is extremely important to me. I make an effort to be as clear and transparent as possible with how I’m feeling towards someone. I’ll hold my heart over them and let them bathe in my blood. But with her, it just seems like her emotional range thus far is: (a) sleeping, (b) stoned/high, (c) curious/adventurous/fun-seeking, (d) flirty / taking things to a sexual direction. I never sense ANY kind of real emotional vulnerability or openness. It just gives me the sense that the way I feel towards her maybe is totally different from how she feels towards me.
She has mentioned “meeting up” at least over ten (10) separate times now ... and we’ve still never met up. We have video chatted for hours, so, I know she’s not a catfish. But she’ll be like, “I can’t wait to meet you,” “When we meet,” “What if I were to drive over to you right now,” “My aunt asked me if I wanted to drive with her to [close to me], if I tag along, I’d love to meet finally meet you!” ... and yet, we still have net met. I respect how important it is for Aquarius to have her space and sense of independence and total freedom. So, when she says those things, I agree with her, and I let her know that I’ll MAKE time for her whenever she wants to meet ... and still no serious ask on her part to actually meet up (i.e., a definite time, date, and place).
Because of my work schedule, my sleep schedule is very unpredictable and it messes with how well I function during the day and messed with my appetite at night. When we talk, it’s usually very late at night (like around 1am to 5am). I’m not the one who calls her around this time. She’s the one who wants to video chat with me around this time. Some days, it’s not an issue. Other days, she always catches me when I’m on a middle of the night Harold and Kumar trip to White Castle or whatever fast food place is open, really. I can’t really safely video chat with her as I’m driving, so I put the phone to the side and just talk to her over the phone. Then I pull over, and I don’t want to be rude or disrespectful, so I’ll literally park in a parking lot or pull the car over and wait until we’re done talking until I start driving the car again. I feel like she gets upset or bothered by this for some reason, and I have no idea what’s offensive or bothersome about it. Maybe she doesn’t want to come across as needy for attention, so she’s always insisting or asking me to drive home as I’m talking to her (as if it’s not late at night and my brain isn’t totally shot and incapable of even having a conversation, much less also being mentally present both on the road and with the person you don’t want to bore).
Those are really the major issues that are concerning me. I appreciate and respect the need for independence and total freedom (personal space, privacy, autonomy, etc.). Funny enough, despite all the Scorpio stereotypes, I’m not great with money, but I’m also not controlling, jealous or possessive in my personal and romantic relationships. I actually enjoy having a partner who is a free bird and being the kind of guy who can be comfortable with that. But this emotionally detached or devoid style of communication, seeming upset or annoyed at me when I’m just trying to not be rude and show basic courtesy when we’re talking (i.e., being fully mentally present and showing her that she has my full attention; not acting aloof, indifferent or playing hard to get), and her timing and gaps in communication and being so non-committal about actually meeting up ... I almost don’t know how to feel. Maybe it’s an Aquarius thing, or maybe she’s just not really interested and was just bored and looking for male attention and some flirting ... idk. There are definitely identifiable negatives and challenges ... but my last relationship didn’t fall apart ... it died a very slow and painful 8 year death. So, emotional detachment and lack of sexual chemistry are hard red flags for me. We definitely have sexual chemistry, which I admittedly deflect and instead try to focus on exploring each other’s thinking process, views and analysis about things, and our feelings (especially towards one another). I can tell we’ll be sexually phenomenal, so I don’t want our initial conversations to be dominated by that kind of talk. I find myself desperately wanting to be really into this girl, but I feel like I have to keep my heart on lockdown ... which makes me feel fake an disingenuous with her over this period of time ... as she takes the time and space she needs to form an opinion about me (and whatever she’s looking for with me). I feel like it’s a total gender role reversal here, and I’m kind of starting to feel for women. “This sucks big nuts and I cannot lie, you other brothers can’t deny ...” (old school hip hop music intensifies). I want a long-term relationship with this girl. I want to love her ... in the way that she needs and wants to be loved (not on my terms). If part of that is her genuinely needing space and a sense of independence, it may not be my personal preference or style for myself, but that doesn’t mean I can’t respect the way she is. If that’s something she needs in a relationship, it really would be my pleasure to give her that (knowing that it’s basically a way of me expressing love to her, by understanding what she needs and giving it to her, even if it’s different from my own preferred relationship style). Really, any input is appreciated, but I just want to get an opinion about whether I should just take this as her not really being interested in me, or as this legit being how Aquarius women get into relationships. Thank you so much for taking the time to read through some random stranger’s personal issues and express an opinion. TL/dr: Basically, nobody is compelling you to say anything in response to this post if you haven’t read through the whole post.
2020.09.20 12:55 Expert-SpendFive dreams about celebrities, one other dream about my ex best friend who was possibly attracted to me at one point, and then a dream I forgot about? Are my dreams a sign telling me I’m progressing and reverting at the same time?
I’ve had the strangest dreams. On my birthday (August 25th of this year), I had two dreams about the Canadian singers, Shawn Mendes (a Leo Sun) and Jessie Reyez. A few days later, I had a third dream about the YouTuber, Mario Adrion. An additional week afterward, I had a fourth dream about another YouTuber, James Charles. And on the morning of the 19th (of September), while I slept, I dreamt that I was the subject of a television show. We were on a commercial break, so I took a walk down a hallway in the production studio. All of a sudden, in the dream, an old love interest of mine—who I think was in love with me at the time but too afraid or in denial to act on them—who’s a Capricorn Sun (born on January 3, 1995, his initials are JJH) randomly ran into me, and he couldn’t stop smiling and borderline moaning from excitement to see me (the latter of which he has also done to me in real life). And then, after he was smiling and excited for so long while we exchanged pleasantries, I woke up. I had some dream last night, about whatever went on, and a YouTuber I don’t watch that often, appeared. When I woke up, I was racking my brain trying to remember who it was. I still forget. Two days ago, the same thing happened. I want to add background details about a few real life friends and lovers of mine, so you all understand where my thoughts and reflections are right now. A friend of mine told me (about the Cap male, at the time we were close), “He likes you! He was staring at you the whole time!” She and I had just come from a double date with this Cap and his love interest (who is a people pleasing personality type). This Cap male was sexually abused as a teenager by a male authoritarian, and he’s said he doesn’t want to have a*al sex with other men because of it. Although he did try to climb in bed with me, only 1 day after we met (and I consented to it), but I mentioned it to him years later, and he ended our friendship because it shocked him. He forgot it happened. He also threw my shoes across the room and forced me to get them, say my full name to him three times, and threatened to expose my sexuality to a group of people we both had just met (I was closeted and bisexual then—I came out as pansexual two years ago). It’s been 7 years since all that happened, and he acts like we don’t know each other. He calls me his “acquaintance”. He was my first kiss, and later said he “regrets it because I felt bad that you’d never had it before”. At the time we were close, he even asked me to be a guest feature on a song of his. I wrote my own lyrics to it, and he hated it because he wanted them to fit a concept (all his albums are concept albums and he’d only done one album at that point). My mom said, at the time, “You really should have worked with (JJH).” I’m still in love with him. He’s still one of my biggest supporters I’ve ever had, I’m still one of his biggest ones as well, and he was also my first kiss. I was also told, “You’re not defenseless while you sleep”. It was just revealed to me that the 3 boys I’d thought of dating—with the initials AH, CW (I don’t know his final initial), and DJW—are either narcissistic, using me because they need fun in their lives or just insecure. Out of all of them, I was suggested to date DJW more. That he (like myself) loves sentiment and fun, too. That (because he’s married with a child), he “doesn’t know what he wants out of life and romance”, and to “tread lightly, because he could have a darkness to him”, or he might not treat you badly. DJW is a Virgo Sun - born on September 8, 1998. AH is an Aries Sun, born at the end of April 1999, who has a disorder called somnophilia. It’s a disorder where he’s sexually attracted to those who are unconscious—and as he puts it, “asleep”—but I only discovered the disorder through researching things he’d already told me. He doesn’t know he has it. I read that it could progress into necrophilia, if not treated or healed. I’m a Virgo Sun & Rising + Capricorn Moon + Cancer Venus, born on August 25, 1996 at 3:30 AM, and my initials are DACS. On top of all that, I’m currently in mental, spiritual and emotional warfare and abuse with an ex lover of mine, who I dated for 5 years—an Aquarius Sun, born on February 18, 1992, his initials are JDL. He’s mentally unstable and emotionally immature. He’s a bipolar paranoid schizophrenic. He never wanted to date me. He only wanted to manipulate me into dating him so that I could be his lab rat he could use for his manipulative games. If I were to explain all of the games he played, we’d be here for hours. I’m currently trying to obtain a restraining order against him, which I’ve been attempting to get for weeks, and I hope it is granted. On top of all that, I feel miserable from former high school bullies of mine, with initials DP (I do not know his signs or placements) and VP (a Sagittarius Sun - born on November 30, 1995), not wanting to make amends with me after I’ve reached out to them to start over and possibly be friends with them again or even date them in the future. DP, VP and I all graduated high school 7 years ago. An energy reader told me (after I showed photos of them) they’re both bisexual, that VP “has depression” and “hasn’t told her (his girlfriend) the full truth” (about how they treated me and how it affected him), that DP “is bisexual or likes being manhandled”. And after all that, I’ve also been dealing with my toxic family members. With the initials JYT (she’s a Taurus Sun + Gemini Rising - born on May 7, 1963) and KAR (He’s a Cancer Sun - born on July 7, 1970). My father was a Pisces Sun, born on March 11, 1955. My mother’s mother (who I was raised around primarily—with a few exceptions) was a Scorpio Sun, born on November 2, 1932. And my aunt (who I spent summers with) is an Aries Sun, born on April 3, 1954. As well as the emotional and mental effects of a hook up of mine in August not going so well between me and a high school classmate of mine, with the initials DHN (a Virgo Sun - born on September 20, 1996). He yelled at me as he was driving me home, and I still think about what he said to this day. It’s been a whole month since it happened. We’d been friends since 2012, until last month and now we no longer speak. He has ignored both my text messages, so I blocked him. There’s also my regret over being rejected by a close friend of mine, with the initials ZLS. He’s a Sagittarius Sun, born on December 4th. And I’m just healing, after a breakup from my engagement to my ex fiancé (an Aquarius Sun - born on January 31, 1996). With the initials TML. We dated for almost 3 years. He ended our engagement a few weeks before our third anniversary. I’ve done inner child work and shadow work, by myself and turned both processes into my own documentaries on YouTube. I just feel like something that could help me in my life is missing. Everywhere I go and every waking moment, it feels like there’s a looming cloud over my physical spirit. I feel like I really want to go even farther than I’ve come in life, meet my true love, and I’ve done the work to heal—yet now, I’m having dreams about odd encounters with James Charles, Shawn Mendes, Jessie Reyez, Mario Adrion (who’s a model and YouTuber), Trevi Moran (who’s a female singer from the American ‘X Factor’), and now two more male celebrities I won’t remember dreaming about? I’ve never dreamt about celebrities, for four weeks in a row, multiple times a week. I usually know what my dreams mean, and these have me stumped. My dreams seem like some conspiracy theory that might not come true. I’ll gladly go in depth about each dream in the comments. I wrote what happened in the Shawn & James dreams right after they happened. Maybe this cloud is the key to positivity to come? Or are my celebrity dreams & the dream about JJH the key to future positivity for me?
2020.09.12 15:12 Throwra31093013809Would Aquarius date a coworker?
One of my coworkers is an aquarius and I'm not sure if he's interested in me. I'm a pisces woman. We've been working together for about a year and work together quite well, he tells me his thoughts before telling our boss, we work on projects together, he asks me to review things he writes and wants my opinion and feedback. But often he's also very abrasive or interupts me when I talk, though probably less than with other colleagues. We used to have lunch together quite often with another coworker before lockdown, but after lockdown the other coworker didn't work here anymore, and neither the aquarius or I asked each other for lunch, so we just kind of did our own thing. The other day I asked him for lunch though, and he said yes and suggested the next day, but unfortunately something came in between and I had to cancel. I'm gonna see if he will reschedule next week, otherwise I might have to ask again. But sometimes he brings back snacks or desserts, like he buys two brownies and will say something like "do you want one, I don't know why I bought two." Or he asks me if I want coffee whenever he goes to get coffee, and I do the same things for him. The other day, he had some issues with his email and couldnt work, so he showed me where he used to live before and where he grew up on google maps. Earlier this week I was sick, and he actually reached out to ask how I'm doing. He quickly followed it up with something work related though. We have similar social circles, but at parties, we don't usually talk. For a while it seemed like he would completely avoid me, not even look in my general direction. Recently, he would sometimes call something to me from across the room, like noticing I was smoking and saying "Oh, (my name) smokes too", or say some small comments when passing by me, like "I just did a shot of XX", but still not really talk. At work, he helps me out a lot. I'm up for a promotion, and I think it's largely because he's been recommending me to management, who really respect his opinion. There are some policies against dating people that you report to in our company, but with the new promotion, I wouldn't be reporting to him anymore. What do you guys think, do Aquarius just treat some coworkers they respect more nicely, or do you think there might be more?
So normally I would post this in relationship advice but tbh I don’t trust and of them, I have found caps give the best advice anyways. So me (cap M) is kinda seeing this (Aquarius F) for about two months now, we aren’t dating but just last month she told me she loves me and tht she could see a future with me. Which was great cause I have a huge crush on her. But when I asked her to be my GF she didn’t answer said she needed time to think and didn’t want to complicate things between us. So now it’s to the point where I initiate all our conversations and when I ask to hangout she is always busy or with her friend who is a Capricorn (F). At first I didn’t care but now I question wht she really wants cause just when I am about to cut her off she messaged me or wants to hang but she will go days with out texting me, where’s I text her daily. Idk anymore how I feel cause when I don’t talk to her it’s like hell and I hate it, but I wonder wht she feels when she just doesn’t talk to me. It has really been taking toll on my mental heath ( which isn’t strong to begin with). So wht type of advice do my fellow caps have?
2020.09.04 03:05 marijab2468I (24F) become incredibly insecure in a relationship
I'm currently in an 8 month relationship with a guy (25) who is in school currently, was previously working at a company for 4 years making 70,000 and treats me very well whenever we are together. He loves to maintain his independence, alone time, and time with his friends. (for my zodiac lovers, he's a libra and I'm an aquarius). He's grown up in the city we are in for his whole life, so he has an established group of friends and family here. I went to school in the same city, and since all my friendsI made in school have moved back to their respective hometowns, I've been struggling to rebuild my social circle... but i do make a consistent effort. Potentially since he is established here and I am by myself, I depend on him for my emotional and social needs? My issue is that I for some reason, find any small thing to freak out and panic about! If he doesn't text during the day, he's forgotten about me and he's not interested. If he's busy one day during the weekend, he's losing interest. We used to be up each others asses in the beginning honeymoon phase, and now we are in more of the "comfortable and established" phase in our relationship... maybe I am clinging onto the "obsession" from the beginning and when it goes away eventually, I immediately think there is something wrong. In my previous relationship, the obsession went away and then he cheated on me about a year in. He was also very "independent" and needed a lot of time on his own too. Furthermore, I tend to really invest a lot into the person I'm dating and forget about myself and my own needs sometimes. I get insecure about my looks and if I'm doing enough to make him happy, and get down on myself that I am somehow not being a good girlfriend. Maybe this could be part of the problem too? TL;DR : my current boyfriend has never given me any reason to worry about our relationship, and yet i still do and overthink to the worst case scenario. If there's anyone else that feels or has felt this way, how do you reverse this method of anxious overthinking?? (i know therapy is probably the best solution, but I currently can't afford that due to corona and being a recent graduate) Any help or advice is truly appreciated. <3
2020.08.28 02:09 gr0ssmangoyear long reading, next months tarot is reversed justice
Did a year long tarot reading. overall card was death. not a beginner in tarot but also not advanced. biddy tarot website said ill be living with the guilt or have to come clean and suffer consequences of an action. but other sites say differently. some say to stay away from legal disputes. need a second opinion. Im not worried bc it is probably something to do with self evaluation as a person but could i do a clarity reading to maybe know what to prepare for? some astrology points have said that i (aquarius) will have someone from my past coming back into my life... a relationship ive missed and yearned for? im dating a taurus but the astrology pointed towards gemini (ex boyfriend) among some other signs. i know at the end of the day my actions are my own but i have an unsettling anxiety about the situation. whats your interpretation for reversed justice for the month ?
Hey guys! As an astrology lover, I always try and guess the zodiac signs of participants in these sorts of shows. I would love to see other people’s guesses/confirmations of the cast member’s signs! Here are my guesses so far and my reasonings: Karen: Virgo Karen seems to be particular about cleanliness/organization and also pretty introverted. She also seems to be slow to open up and slightly single-minded (as per her immediate reaction to Mile’s social media). I’m glad she is slowly opening up, but she is still very reserved and is guarding her heart very strongly. Miles: Cancer Cancer fits Miles because he is nurturing and everyone around him says he is a “good guy”. Cancer would also explain the ~emotions~ and he even admitted to not being afraid of vulnerability with his loved ones. He’s a total softie, so I would be very surprised if he wasn’t a Cancer. Amelia: Gemini Amelia strikes me as a Gemini because she is witty and creative, and her energy is infectious! Gemini’s are usually pretty smart as well (Mercury ruled). Amelia just has a natural sparkle and multidimensional-ness that screams Gemini. She also said she was born in the middle of the year during the wedding, so hopefully this guess is right! Bennett: Sagittarius Bennett is a fun-loving man who loves to make witty (and strange) jokes! He also seems like the kind of guy who just happens to store obscure facts in his brain and is curious about new things/people. During the wedding, he said he was born at the end of the year (so either Cap or Sag), but regardless of that hint, I would think Bennett is a Sagittarius. Christina: Aries Whew! Christina is one hot ball of fire! I was kinda stuck between Sag and Aries (since Sagittarius people love to travel), but Aries seems to fit Christina because she is direct, demands attention, and has a very Ram-like personality. She gets what she wants and isn’t afraid to speak her mind. It is very Aries-like of her for to be such a passionate person, yet not make the first move on Henry. Henry: Virgo We haven’t seen much personality from Henry, which tells me a little but also tells me a lot. His explanation of his attraction to Christina (comparing it to liking a song) screams Virgo because he is mutable and is probably constantly overthinking what his feelings even are. Henry is reserved and he also seems very observant. He picks up on Christina’s behaviors, and I think he is probably slowly thinking up ways of how to be more direct with her. Brett: Scorpio To be completely honest, I think Brett is a Scorpio because he reminds me a lot of Brandon from season 10 (who is a confirmed Scorpio). Both just appear to be insecure men who will rarely admit to any wrongdoings (so far). I am not slandering Scorpios, but underdeveloped Scorpios (especially men) tend to be like this. Brett also seems to have no self control and will never be satisfied (as per his dating history). He just strikes me as a man who will do anything to remain in some sort of position of power (even if that means being an arrogant and rude person). Olivia: Taurus This one is kind of a wild guess. I’m honestly going off of the stereotypical Taurus trait of liking the “finer things in life”. She likes what she likes and doesn’t seem willing to change in that aspect (not that she should). She also seems like a determined woman who will do anything she sets her mind to (Bull tendencies). Woody: Leo Leo’s are usually loving people who love attention. Woody’s bright personality is infectious and it’s literally impossible to dislike him! He also seems like the kind of guy who will show you off and always give you affection. Downside is that Leo’s can be arrogant, and I feel like I’ve seen a little of this peak through (this is a personal opinion). Amani: Aquarius Amani appears to be very smart and rational, like many Aquariuses. Amani and Woody have an undeniable connection, but Amani is still cautious (not completely blinded from the initial attraction). Aquariuses are said to think too much in the future which may explain why Amani always mentions the uncertainty that lies there. She also has a natural charm, clear boundaries, and strong opinions. After writing this, I realized that a decent amount of these guesses are opposite sign pairings. Makes me wonder whether this was intentional or if my guesses are just completely off. Nonetheless, I look forward to reading everyone’s input!
2020.08.22 07:07 moonbby33Any other Caps just not feeling love / relationships at all right now?
Aquarius Venus. I just feel so unenthusiastic about the whole thing. Granted, I got hurt pretty bad recently, off some unrequited love/getting strung along type shit. But it’s been a while of being really single and I just don’t feel excited about dating at all. I’m 22, so a lot of my friends are in relationships or talking to people. I talk to people on instagram and stuff but that’s just flirting... idk , everyone i hang out with is just nothing to get jazzed about. i always leave feeling like i wish i never came. cause it’s always weird after you hook up with someone you met 3 hours ago. i guess i’m just coming to a place where i want whatever comes next to happen naturally. but i could also see myself being single for 10 more years. i feel like i definitely have a set ideal of my dream partner and if the person doesn’t fit that, i’m immediately turned off. some people say that’s ok, some people say i should change that. i don’t know i’m high and i like venting to you guys!!
Im a libra dating a libra.. i was honestly super scared at first because i had no luck with libras in the past but turns out they're my soulmate. :) Im a libra sun, cap rising and pisces moon Theyre a libra sun, aquarius moon, and cancer rising
2020.08.14 21:30 Expert-SpendMay I have a love reading?
I’m a pansexual male, who’s also polyamorous, and aged in my mid 20s. I’m very open to dating all 5 of the men who are attracted to me; I just need a final confirmation to see if all five are genuine about their attraction for me. Guy 1: Virgo. An unemployed model. Drug addicted; friends of his enable him. Has told me he only has sex for profit, and through this venture, was exploited and robbed. He records himself using and posts it on the internet. Married with an infant child. Made constant sexual and flirtatious advances toward my ex fiancé, an Aquarius (which my ex rejected and told me ‘He’s not my type’). I am two years older than he. He’s aged early 20s. He lived in my state when we met, and currently lives in the Deep South. Let us refer to him as The Bobby Soxer. Guy 2: Virgo as well. Employed. Sexually fluid. Single and bicurious. I’m the first man he’s ever had sexual attraction to. We had sex last week; before and after our rendezvous, he contemplated whether it was right to be with me by saying “I don’t want to lead you on” and “This is not REALLY me......” (long afterward) and “You were really good! I see you’ve been practicing!” (directly after). He has two gay uncles (which he has personally told me). We met as classmates in high school. I’m also four weeks older than he. He actually rejected me in high school, and set me up with a gay guy at our school. I wanted to get to know said guy, and the new guy rejected any offer to get to know me. We haven’t spoken since; it’s been 8 years since Guy 2 & myself have met, and he’s seemingly attracted to me. Is also aged in his mid 20s. We both live in the same town. Let us refer to him as Gilda. Guy 3. Also drug addicted. Possibly has sex for money. Aged 19. Very honest and forthcoming. Lives with his grandmother and has a negative relationship with his mother (which I can relate to firsthand). We live six hours from each other; he lives in the South and I live in the Northeast of the USA. Let us refer to him as PowerPoint Presentation. Guy 4: Somnophiliac. Aged in his early 20s. Former college baseball player. Was questioned by police over DUI charge and released the same day (he doesn’t know, I know this, about him). Is actively inactive in my life, through texting and social media. We met through a friend of mine and I initiated flirting, which escalated our relationship into him attempting to initiate sex from me—I did not give in. He says his phone is broken, every time I try to speak with him through text, and blocks me ten minutes after we begin every conversation, on all his social media handles and devices. We’ve hung out only once, in person. We live one county apart from each other. Is not consenting to sex with me, unless I am asleep and if we are video chatting, I need to be FaceTiming him before and while I am asleep. Let us refer to him as Microsoft Excel. Guy 5: Is a close friend of mine. Aged in his late 20s. Gang affiliated (which is not an issue for me; I have dated a closeted gang member in the past). We have differing political views. Has had sex with one man prior to being vulnerable about sex with me. Has had sex with transgender women and is attracted to older women. He’s tried to set me up with his gay cousin—I have declined the proposition several times. He’s suggested I move to his state (a state where I only have one family member who I know nothing about, and hardly remember this person’s name). He has sent me one explicit photo of himself, and then refused to discuss it by asking why I don’t think women find him attractive (which I never said at all). He only chooses to speak about sex with men, when he facilitates such conversation. He also has said “You remind me of a young Malcolm X. Very strong.” After that quote, he was very disrespectful toward me. He is schizophrenic (which he has directly stated) and smokes Valerian Root (which he says gives him the same feeling Xanax gave him). Friends have personally told me “He likes you!” and that his illness has him question his romantic attraction to me. He lives on the West Coast of the USA. Let us refer to him as Time Immemorial. My current love life is very difficult for me to navigate, because I have always said I don’t judge people, and am wondering when to draw the line and decide judging people is an understatement, by simply ending my future relationships. I am a 5 time dating abuse survivor, and 3 time domestic violence survivor (of which, one of the men—an Aquarius Sun—who had indirect attraction to me, later became destructive and threw my personal property; at the time, I was not informed of this being domestic violence, and did not file a complaint).
2020.08.12 06:04 zella_anneMe (22F) and my boyfriend (25M) have been dating 1.5 years, ldr for 1 year of that, he wants to get married. I don't know if I'll ever be ready. Am I ready?
So this is NOT throwRA, but I did finally create a reddit account for this purpose (will be staying for the foreseeable future now that I'm here though). So, basically. This is the longest time I've been dating someone. Before my current boyfriend I had major intimacy issues via catholic child guilt which resulted in me being a one night standard person; basically love and sex did not belong in the same scenario for me at first. I tried to date two people during that time, but looked for people who seemed emotionally unavailable and therefore would be mild on the romantic side of the relationship. This strat resulted in me dating two confirmed sociopaths on accident; do not recommend. To the point, I'm finally doing a lot better. I am deeply in love with my current boyfriend and don't ever want to leave him. He brought up the M word, like 6 months into dating though and as the child of divorce (with a mom who's been remarried 3 times by 42 and divorced all 3 time. The latter 2 because the guys said they loved her only to turn around and cheat on her; the first time because she got me when she was 19), I have NEVER imagined in my wildest dreams getting married. It just seems inherently flawed and I don't know too many success stories. The old married couples I know (grandparents, parents of friends, etc.) all seem bitter and resigned, not happy and in love. But my bf is the son of a baptist preacher and really believes in/values marriage. Last Valentine's Day, he told me that after a lot of thought, he decided it would be best to leave proposing to me so I didn't have to worry about him springing the question every time he did something romantic (which tbh was becoming a major stress). This was SO SWEET and has really deepened my love for him. Over the past 6 months as well, I've noticed that MY reservations toward marriage have been changing. It doesn't seem like an eternity of suffering anymore for example and one of my favorite songs since I was 10 is starting to sound like a complete song where before I only ever listened to the verses because the chorus seemed stupid and random and like a totally different song (The Only Exception by Paramore). Lately I've been wavering wildly between deciding to break up with him (because I'll never be able to give him the marriage he wants) or buy a ring and propose. Side note: I'm finishing college right now to go into special education and I told him before he even brought it up the first time that I'm a busy, driven person who would never get married in college and if he ever decided to propose within that time frame I'd definitely say no (haha little did I know...). So pro cons: Pros: I love him, I've never loved anyone this much, We've already been together over a year (wayyyy longer than any of my previous relationships (4 months in high school)), we have a lot in common (moral standards, ideal living situation, money, religion, kids***, gender roles, family trauma, fav games, pets, ask me more in the comments), if I'm not ready with him I really don't know if I'll ever be ready with anyone, he makes me believe in love, we can sit in silence together, we work better when the other person is around, we've been visiting each other about 1/month since ldr, I wouldn't do ldr if I didn't see a future with him, his family likes me, my family LOVES him (mainly cause he has seriously impacted my anxiety and eating issues), He recently decided he's willing to move in with me after I graduate but before marriage, which was a major argument for the past year since we both know that that is gonna be really rough on his family and while I wanted to do that, I still am uncertain about putting him through that** Cons: I still feel like I'm leaping off a cliff over water filled with glass shards and man eating sharks when I think about walking down the aisle (I feel like I'd be sentencing our relationship to death, like he'd suddenly realize that I'm not worth being with) We have soooo many differences with wedding decisions (ie: his family would want to ban alcohol, my family needs alcohol to exist in the same room; he has like 3 friends who he could ask to be groomsmen, it would be a MAJOR challenge to get my list of bridesmaids down to 12 (feel free to ask in the comments); he would probably want to get married in a church but I am a recent christian convert without a denomination and feel weird going full baptist; he wants rings, I think they're a scam and would prefer a tattoo or a sentiment; he would want to get married in his hometown to invite his church family, my family is military and spread out I'd want to try for somewhere central as far as travel goes. **I feel like I have a lot of wrong reasons to marry him: to appease his parents so he doesn't have to argue with them when we move in together and because I miss him soooo much being long distance and half of me just wants to have the chance to be around him every day. ***I don't want kids and before he met me he always wanted them and imagined his life with them. The first time I asked him about it he said he "didn't really mind one way or the other" if he had kids but that he knew he loves me and will always want to be with me. He's since told me that he doesn't really want kids anymore but I've been gung ho about not wanting kids forever and I'm worried that he just thinks I'm young and will change my mind (which like maybe I'm well aware of the trope of 20 somethings not wanting kids till they have them, but also I regularly dream about being infertile so I don't have to fight people about my decision and I have an IUD that lasts for another 7 years so I don't think that's a good way to start out). We've been ldr for the majority of our relationship and I feel like that has us stuck in the honeymoon phase. We talk everyday 2-3 times a day and every weekend we get to be together is like 3 days of absolute bliss, last time he visited me was when I was really stressed during finals week and so he rubbed the knots out of my back while I ignored him to write papers, made me a whole lasagna and didn't let me help, was patient and kind, and just generally helpful in every way while I had to be busy, he wasn't even supposed to come visit that week because I knew I was busy, but he wanted to because he knew that I was struggling and "he just wanted to be there to help." As for me, I am hella broke but I regularly send him little gifts (food and flowers and stuff) as often as I can; I drive up to visit him whenever possible, I fall behind on schoolwork because I'll stay up talking with him, I don't know what the policy is on this subreddit for NSFW but I'll let you imagine how I express my love for him both when we're together and when we're apart. BUT>>> that's the standard we're living at rn, I don't think we'll leave each other when the honeymoon phase ends and every day isn't roses and rainbows, but jumping into marriage from that seems like a crazy bet to make. I constantly feel like he puts in more effort than I do (he always says its okay cause I'm still in max time school, part time job land). But to me this seems like a real issue, what if I'm just not as committed? He'll eventually be bothered???? I'm seriously torn. I've never thought I'd even consider marrying somebody. This is SOOO far off script for me but then again so was falling in love in the first place. Can anyone help me? Is it bad to be so uncertain about marriage in the first place? Is everyone this soul-shakingly scared when they consider it? Is there ever a point where it just seems right? Is this just divorce baby trauma talking? Sorry for the book of a post. I hope y'all can help. P.S. If this helps anyone. I'm an ESFJ for meyers briggs. And I'm an Aquarius with a Cancer; I don't really put much stock in personality tests or the zodiac but I'll accept any advice. TL;DR I don't know if I'm ready to marry my bf, but I feel like the main question I'm asking myself now is why not, instead of why? How do I know if I'm ready - or just read the pro/cons and see if there's a clear choice.
2020.08.10 21:42 lostandconfused2332Can I redeem myself after acting sorta desperate with an Aquarius male?
I went on a date late last week with a guy (22m) who I have known for years but didn’t reconnect until recently through a dating app. The date was one of the best I’ve been on because we had great banter and the conversation never went dull. We made out after and I was excited about him. We talked more the next day but I went out of town on a girls trip and while we were snap chatting I was drunk and told him I want to see him again this weekend. I usually am great at keeping my cool (I’m a Gemini) and thought he would have been all for hanging out again. He didn’t say he was opposed but he said “if it happens it happens”. We haven’t talked much since then and I’m a little embarrassed about putting myself out there this early on. Can I come back from this by not reaching out? He is an Aquarius so I know they like girls that keep their cool.
2020.08.03 19:35 GryffndorkI'm an Aries, but I'm very shy with women and have never had a girlfriend. I really like the idea of romance, but never seem to get it. Any indication in my chart as to why? And how do I fix it?
House 1: Aquarius- nothing House 2: Pisces- retrograde Mercury House 3: Aries- Sun House 4: Taurus- Venus House 5: Gemini- Mars, Chiron, S. Node House 6: Cancer- Jupiter House 7: Leo- Moon (my DK planet, if you factor that) House 8: Virgo- nothing House 9: Libra- nothing House 10: Scorpio- Pluto House 11: Sagittarius- retrograde Uranus, retrograde Neptune, N. Node, Black Moon Lilith House 12: Capricorn- Saturn As an astrologer myself, I have my own theories, but I'd like a fresh, outside perspective. Anything stand out? I'm a pretty nervous person in general so of course that does bleed into my love life (well, lack thereof). Also, yes, sometimes I make the first move, but things never go very far and usually when I get a match the first thing I do is panic and close Tinder lol. *I know dating right now would be bad. I'm looking for info to use after the pandemic.*
2020.07.28 17:01 seeyouhoomanyour sun and moon Aquarius here who's dating a cancer
so... I feel like you guys only understand me.I posted here earlier about how tired I am of emotionally needy cancer. we fight so much you have no idea, he wouldn't support me when I need it, he constantly makes fun of me and criticizes me, I could be a little socially awkward when I'm in a social setting so in his opinion I'm not acting cool and I embarrass myself. honestly nothing crazy, just a little of my Aquarius weirdness and awkwardness, I never insulted anyone neither harmed someone. the other night I was high on Molly and my short memory went out of the window and he looked so handsome and I came over to him like a few times saying that he's attractive and handsome, would kiss him and hug him, eventually he told me to cut it off and that I'm not acting cool and I shouldn't be taking MDMA anymore because I start acting weird. so he wants to hang out very often and I had to compromise it and agreeing to do that even tho it would burn me out, he wants to talk on the phone a lot during the day and text and I had to agree to di do that as well. last night I spent at my place and I'm looking forward to spending a few nights more by myself, I'm so emotionally burnt out from spending so much time with him that I don't want to talk to anyone at all and today I'm going to work leaving my phone at home because having to respond to the text messages or talking to someone on the phone makes me sick. me time here! have a great day guys =) P.S. don’t fucking ask me why I’m dating him even tho I’m unhappy, I always try to break up with him and he always manages to drag me back into a relationship with him, I feel like a dead body who’s being pulled back by cancer’s emotionally neediness which caused by his inability to be single
Big thanks to PantoJack for linking to the article found here: https://docdro.id/1R0mZAc World Tribune, July 17, 2020. Article titled "The Conversation we Need to Transform Our Country. The power of genuine dialogue." Obligatory opening reference to some poet or philosopher? Check. So predictable. We get Eckermann and Goethe, with the former confessing to the latter thst "although he sought to harmonize with those like him, he had nothing to do with others beyond his circle." Well there's a doozy of a sentence right off the bat! What is that supposed to mean? If I were proofreading this paper, I'd have no choice but to circle that entire sentence and write "wha?" next to it. "Seek to harmonize?" Nobody has ever used that expression before, in the history of the planet Earth! Not to mention "seek to harmonize with those like him", which is also a perplexing (not to mention somewhat intriguing) turn of phrase. And what does he desire to "do" with people "beyond his circle"? We're one sentence into this scourge, and the writer already sounds like an alien freshly arrived from the propaganda planet. Weird start, but it does stay true to the formula heretofore established -- which, if you recall, is to say things that teeter on the brink of senselessness, while completely bastardizing the established meaning of all relevant terms. So, what was the advice that Goethe gave to his friend? He wrote, "It is in conflict with natures opposed to his own that a man must collect his strength to fight his way through; and thus all our different sides are brought out and developed, so that we soon feel ourselves a match for every foe... Indeed you must at all events plunge into the great world, whether you like it or not." Um... Okay. Doesn't sound very harmonious to me. Here the first guy sounds more like he's ready to test the dating scene, and his friend comes back at him with, "you must conquer every foe, whether you like it or not!". Come to think of it, they probably are talking about romantic conquest here on some level. But even if they aren't, we still have our first delightful contradiction to deal with, in that Mr. Goethe (who sounds like he's channeling his inner Daisaku Ikeda in that quote), is describing the path to "harmony" as going right through conflict. Which is it? Harmony or conflict? Are we fighting, or are we talking? Is there an agenda behind the encounter, something we are trying to win? Are we breaking and subduing? Do we go into the encounter with total certitude in our beliefs, or is there the possibility we might change our own minds? Do you see the dilemma? This is an article that's supposed to be all about dialogue, and it can't even be bothered to provide a working definition for what dialogue even is. Whatever idea you have already in your head, go ahead and use that. Anyway, the big question they have for us here is, "What is missing from American society?... Its poverty perhaps lies in the weakness of its social fabric, frayed as it is by our inability to hold dialogue in the truest sense--with those who are different from us and who think differently than us." So what do you propose we do about it? Deliver long winded speeches about nothing? That'll mend the social fabric! How has nobody thought of this before? "In recalling a dialogue, Ikeda Sensei relayed the thinking that, while we are drawn to the headlines that represent the surface of life, it is the 'deeper, slower movements that, in the end, make history.'" Recalling a dialogue? Wow, the writing is really on point today! Not that it matters what dialogue he might have been recalling, because they won't tell us anyway, but it was definitely a dialogue being recalled. You can be sure of that. However, as far as "deeper, slower movements" go, the Age of Aquarius would like to have a word. Religion has become outmoded because we live in an age of information now. That's about as deep as it gets -- the long, slow inevitable death of tradition. If you're looking into the future for some vision that involves people becoming more religious, you might end up a little disappointed. "The movement that Sensei pursued was the path of dialogue engaging with leading thinkers around the world to find solutions to the complex problems of the 21st century." SOLUTIONS!? Name one! At least Kim Jong Il invented a desk of variable height, to adjust to the height of the reader, which was the single greatest invention of the twentieth century. What has "Sensei" done for the world, in his capacity as Japan's stunning answer to L. Ron Hubbard? "Recalling those efforts, he writes 'In every country there were people, and I firmly believed that dialogue was the path we should take as human beings to melt the frigid walls of mistrust dividing us.'" In every country there were people, eh? I'm gonna file that one under Ike-duh, like when he felt the need to remind us that telephones exist for calling people. Sometimes he is the master of the exceedingly obvious. So what did he do? Go around talking to strangers? Set up a speaking tour? Q+A session, so that people could finally ask a random Japanese businessman the burning questions they've always meant to ask a random Japanese businessman? In other words, what you talkin' about, Willis? Could you give a concrete example of what, how, and with whom a dialogue was held, and any sort of positive outcome that might have resulted? Or is this only about blowing smoke up our asses? Furthermore, what kind of example are the publications supposed to be setting for the members, when all they ever do themselves is talk in circles about nothing? Is this what dialogue is supposed to be? Confusing, sanctimonious and irrelevant? "In the month of July, which represents the 760th anniversary of the submission of Nichiren Daishonin's landmark treatise..." Aww, fuck me... "On Establishing the Correct Teaching for the Peace of the Land" Obligatory reference to that exact Gosho, as if it's the only piece of writing in existence. Double Check. "...a masterwork in how to engage in dialogue, let us review key points on dialogue from the Buddhist perspective..." Ah yes, I remember this Gosho, from the podcast. Remember podcast club? When they told us that the Buddhist take on COVID was that it was a karmic punishment against mankind for being, and I quote, "polluted and degenerate", and that we deserve every last bit of it, because we're just as degenerate as Japan was back when Nichiren was telling them the same things? Remember how I had all those questions about what exactly the take home message was supposed to be, while struggling to understand how a paper written in harsh condemnation of society at large is supposed to in any way constitute "dialogue"? Pepperidge Farm remembers. And so do I. Because it was a dubious and shitty thing for them to say in that context, it's a dubious and shitty thing to bring up now, and it will continue to be dubious and shitty every single time they reference that judgmental screed...which is pretty much all the time. Please, someone tell me what is so important that I am failing to grasp about Nichiren predicting gloom for Japan, because from where I'm sitting, he's judgmental, Ikeda's judgmental, religious people in general are judgmental, and none of it stands as any kind of testament to the lasting power of dialogue. Groupthink, perhaps. Definitely a sales mentality. Sometimes debate. But not real dialogue. What I mean is that real dialogue would involve the ability to question this practice and its rhetoric directly and objectively. All the questions would have to be left on the table. One could ask things like, "how is it that getting more people to chant is going to be the source of any real change in the world?". We could question the track record of the organization itself, perhaps. That's not the kind of discussion a believer wants to have, but unfortunately it's also the only kind of discussion worth having. So we're stuck in kind of a Catch-22: they'd like to have a "polite" discussion in which everyone is granted the right to not have their beliefs questioned, but, those types of discussions don't actually change anything. Very non-committal. Maybe that's why it rubs me so wrongly when this organization makes disparaging remarks about the degeneracy of the age and the quality of the social fabric, because I don't think they should be able to have it both ways. They can't be so aloof and non-committal and uninvolved, and then turn around and cast judgment on society. They haven't earned any right to talk shit, and neither has Sensei, whose entire mythos as a crusader for social justice was based around some meaningless story about a kid on a playground. But no, he elevates his own picture right next to those of Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, and Dr. King... simply because he can. You were saying? "Dialogue makes us stronger. There may well be times when one finds it somewhat challenging to work together with other members... Young people, in particular, often find organizations restrictive and stifling, and many may think it is easier and more pleasant to be on one's own." Ha! Nice little guilt trip there. So the kids don't want to play with you. Boo hoo. "There is also a strong general tendency these days for people to try to avoid direct interaction with others." But if only more people chanted to paper, all that would change, right? Seriously, what else are you proposing? How are we going to fundamentally reshape our economic and social realities to undo the trends that forced us into these atomized lives in the first place? You got anything, or are you just going to give us a cop out answer about how if people's hearts were more pure, the world would be magically better? For something that likes to bang the drum about becoming engaged and being a force for change in our communities, the real gospel being preached here is one of remaining somewhat separate from the world. Members are intended to remain within a mental bubble, within a small world of propaganda, within an isolated social milieu stalled somewhere in the last century. The publications only ever speak of current events in passing, and only to use them as pretexts for delivering pre-ordained lessons. And there's definitely nothing contemporary about Nichiren, his practice, or his petty, antiquated worldview. Right on cue, the next quote is from Nichiren, about how if we transform the "tenets" in our hearts, the world will transform into a Buddha land. No explanation given. This is followed by the equally obligatory Sensei quote about how even one person can change the world. It continues: "'To put it another way, as the solidarity of peace and trust among awakened individuals spreads from one person to 10,000, from our local communities to society as a whole, a fresh reformation of the times will become possible.' --Sensei" He always sounds like he's making this shit up as he goes along, doesn't he? Yes... it's a...fresh reformation of the times...based on a...a... revolution...within the individual.. "The power of a great human revolution within the life of a single human being will definitely break the chains of the hatred and violence that bind us..." Yeah, like that. I'm kind of wondering, though: once again this religion is coming as sounding very Christian. Look at that last sentence again. Isn't that how Christians would speak of the Jeez? A single human who forever changed the destiny of humankind for the better, breaking the chains of sin that bind us? My point exactly. There is so much Christianity in Nichiren Buddhism that it isn't even funny anymore. (Except that it still is...) "What we refer to as worldwide kosen-rufu, therefore..." Spreading the gospel, yes... "... Is crystallized within the unrelenting efforts of individuals challenging themselves to open the hearts of others, illuminating them but with the wisdom of Buddhism." Whoa, easy there. There you go. It was never about dialogue at all. It's about you preach, they listen. You have the wisdom that other people are lacking, and it's your job to open their hearts for them somehow. It's a challenge and an effort and a lot of hard work, but somebody has to carry the torch of Buddhism, or else the world would be plunged into even darker darkness. Kind of bleak, huh? And what exactly is the "wisdom" we in the SGI are in possession of? That you can chant for whatever you want? That karma exists and stuff? That Ikeda is God? What's the lesson? You'd think before one goes around trying to illuminate the world, one should have at least figured out something" about life. But in reality we see quite the opposite, as believers advocate for a system of thought which falls *below the threshold of common sense. You'd probably get better and more impartial advice from a random person at a bus stop than you would from your average proselyte. At least the random stranger isn't entirely guaranteed to have an agenda, or to be selling you on a lifestyle and an addictive habit, as would the SGI member. To put it another way, how do we know that membership in this particular organization doesn't make a person worse at dialogue? More haughty, and self-assured, and scripted and one-track minded? If I had to personify the voice behind these articles, it would be someone scattered, dreamy, uninformed, aloof, tone deaf, dogmatic, simple-minded and flakier than an economy-sized box of cereal, unable and unwilling to justify or stand behind any of their own half-baked ideas. Probably changes the subject very readily as well. While it's not necessarily fair to compare any real person to the propagandistic ideal expressed in the publications, we can still make the case that it's not a good example to follow. Okay, we're running out of space on the page...any chance Sensei wants to say anything practical about what dialogue is and how to do it? "Dialogue challenges us to confront and to transform the destructive impulses inherent in human life. I earnestly believe that the energy generated by this courageous effort can break the chains of resignation and apathy that bind the human heart, unleashing renewed confidence and vision for the future." So, no. Does it matter what people even dialogue about, or is the important thing just to get people talking? Can it be about sports, or does it have to be about oppression, apathy and destructive impulses? ("You see that game last night?" "My unceasing mission is to transform the destructive impulses inherent in human life. I will not rest until worldwide propagation is achieved for the sake of the master!" "Yeah...three game winning streak. I hope the pitching holds up.") "Kosen-rufu requires that we not walk away from others because the conversation is difficult." This implies that one already possesses the wisdom to know which conversations are worth having and which aren't. Sometimes a conversation is difficult because it's based on a premise that is inappropriate, or intractable. Or because one of the participants isn't operating in good faith. This is why one does not generally discuss religion or politics in polite company, because they are difficult topics about which one's opinion is unlikely to change. Once again, why should we assume that a given SGI member is in possession of any more wisdom or discretion that your average person? If a person were wise enough to always know the right course of action, they'd already be enlightened. And an enlightened person would probably see the futility and pointlessness of trying to convince anyone of anything, especially when it comes to matters of ineffability. If you listen to what the actual Buddha said, he was all about how truth is relative, and how to tell someone a truth that they're not ready for is essentially to lie to them. He was a master of dialogue because he was unattached to the outcome of dialogue -- and everything else for that matter. Enlightened people are above the need to proselytize. As always, the explanation offered by these wishy-washy articles generates only uncertainty. We still don't know who is dialoguing, how, about what, and most importantly to what end. All of this is woefully taken for granted, I assume -- the goal of all dialogue in this religion should ultimately be Shakubuku, I suppose? That's sure what it sounds like here in this final paragraph: "...while communicating our beliefs and convictions clearly to others, we must exert ourselves fully to respect the dignity of people's lives and endeavor to understand them. Respecting our differences and learning from one another, we must tenaciously persist in talking with others, engaging them repeatedly in discussion." There it is again: the one-way street. We communicate our beliefs and convictions clearly to others. We are the ones exerting, trying, engaging, initiating and persisting, for the benefit of others. Yes, we also learn things from them, but ultimately it's our light that needs to shine, because we're in possession of the right beliefs. But you know which word doesn't appear once, anywhere, in this entire article? The word "listening". Rather odd, no? An entire article about the importance of dialogue, and the word "listen" is conspicuously absent. This is very much by design. What does it tell us? Why would it be so verboten to draw attention to the fact that fully half of a "dialogue" should ideally consist of being receptive and saying nothing? Why would they choose to omit such a basic truth? Are we too fragile to even allude to the possibility that maybe we might be the ones learning from someone else's point of view? That maybe we don't have all the answers? You see, as is typically the case, I think the SGI gets this topic fundamentally, essentially, cardinally wrong. If they wanted to write something truthful, beneficial, mature and profound, they might do well to shut up about "dialogue" altogether, and instead write something about the enormous potential to be found in the simple act of listening. To be a true listener is to be a healer of your fellow human beings. To make space for someone else in your mind, your heart, and your aura is to make someone feel truly appreciated. It opens their heart to you, creates trust, and generally fulfills all the promises they just made regarding dialogue in general. Dialogue is the natural consequence of listening. It's not the dialogue that's the real treasure here, it's the listening. Listening is beautiful, it's receptive, it's yin, it's like water. It's refreshing. It's the essence of respect. One does not need to make a show of caring when one knows how to listen, because people will already sense it. What makes listening such a rare commodity in this world is that it requires some degree of actual clarity. When the mind is chattering, reacting, and projecting, it can be hard to stay in the moment and simply perceive that which is before us. Buddhism is supposed to help with that. But this kosen-rufu lifestyle, this source of constant internal and external distraction, appears to forego inner peace in favor of excitement about the importance of one's personal mission. It appeals to the grandiose side of human nature -- the side that is more interested in bragging about being a great listener than actually being so. And it's based upon a practice which consists of endlessly chattering into one's own ears. Go figure. So there we have it: another classic obfuscatory mess from das org. An article about "dialogue" that fails to make any kind of case for what dialogue is, where and how to do it, and to what end. We're left to assume that their working definition of "dialogue" is basically just trying to sell people on the value of your religion, which is the exact opposite of actually listening, while failing to mention that literally no one cares about anyone else's religion, and also failing to explain how it is that the activities of this fringe religious movement are in any way going to bring benefit to the world. Dialogue? More like dial it back. Hai!
2020.07.25 19:40 trblrvngThe Moral Ambiguity of Fan Fiction (and why this could be it for me as a fanfic writer)
Just want to share something I wrote on my AFF. Let me know what you think. >>> I am just going to ramble. So pardon me if you find this such an unorganized piece. Before I begin, I'd like to say that I am in no way an expert of philosophy. I am just someone who's gotten into introspecting about my responsibility as a fan and as a writer. I was scrolling through Reddit last night and I don't know how I come across a post about fanfiction. Then I started looking up this very specific term: "The Ethics of Fan Fiction" on Google (of course). Here are some articles that really got me thinking.
After reading those article, it really got me thinking what my stand is in this matter. And I am doing it by mapping out my journey. I would like to share my introspection process with you. Why did I start writing fanfiction? The audience and instant feedback. Since I was in 6th grade, I have been writing fiction. I wrote mostly children's fiction and storybooks, poems, and proses that get published in the school newspaper. When I was in high school, I graduated to writing novels for self-pleasure. They're usually inspired by books I read and series I watch. Nothing too serious. Just some teen fun. Then, when I was in college, a friend introduced me to K-Pop. I didn't know about fanfiction at first until one of my friends sent me a link to this DaraGon video on YouTube. It was a simple shipping video and that led me to AFF. I read a few DaraGon fanfics and as a writer myself, I was so amazed at the instant gratification, feedback, and interaction you get in here. I was even more amazed when I started writing about my then-ult, BIGBANG and got so many praises from the community. How did I feel writing fan fiction for the first time? Oh, it was thrilling! I loved updating and hearing from the subscribers. I've already deleted the fic but it gained a bit of attention and I was so thankful for that. I, however, didn't look or think much into it. I just loved writing for fans and as a fan, I loved reading fanfics. I, too, was young. I was only 16! I didn't think of the moral or ethical consequences of what I was doing. More than 7/8 years later, what made me think twice? I guess it's because I am growing and I am learning more about the world as a living, breathing existing human being. For a while, too, I was interested in philosophy. I looked into my own virtues and values. What keeps me up at night? What puts me to good rest? What drives me? What stops me? I've had some kind of existential crisis. That wasn't easy to admit but hey, I am telling you now. So far, through this self-discovery journey, I have learned a few things about myself: I don't have a strong opinion of my own (which is bad) so I easily get influenced and swayed by really good arguments with a factual and scientific basis, but I hate it when I or the people I care for are experiencing injustice. So to speak, socially and politically, I was firm about the way I perceive justice and understand existence. I like scientific bases. I like theses. I like learning about the law and I do recognize it. I love learning about the psychology of things, events, and phenomena. I just am like this. So if you argue with me about how 60% of idols hate shipping (with actual data), I will ultimately be against it even if I did it early in my days as a fan. (((Here are a few facts about me that you may want to link with this kind of personality: I am an INFJ; my sun is in Libra while my Moon, Mercury, and Venus are in Virgo. My Mars is in Leo, my Jupiter in Capricorn, Saturn in Aries, Uranus in Aquarius, Neptune in Capricorn, Pluto in Sagittarius and Lilith in Leo. I don't know why I just told you about my placements but it could help you judge me.))) Anyway, while I am on this journey, I started rethinking my way of life. I am now thinking of dabbling into minimalism. I am going through a phase of PMA (Positive Mental Attitude). Careerwise, I'm also having second thoughts and would want to pursue a whole different path after 4 years in the workforce building a kickass portfolio. Now, I am in that part where I rethink my hobbies. Do these things benefit me? Do these things help me grow as a person? Does this influence me to be a good person? And the most important question I asked myself, are these aligned with my moral philosophy and my quest for ethical responsibility? Quick answer: yes, yes, yes, and no. From here on out, I am going to focus only on my hobby of writing fan fiction and NOT on other hobbies I have like gaming and sketching and whatever. Just writing fan fiction. Why 'yes'? Yes, these things benefit me. In the long run, writing about fan fiction has helped me develop my writing skills. It has completely changed the way I look at stories. If you read my works from when I was in high school, you could compare it to a very bad Netflix series. I wrote a lot of cliche stories with very, very ambiguous character development and structure overall. But now, as I rewrite my stories, I realize how much I have improved since. I am now able to come up with stories that -- while some may argue -- have already been told but on a different perspective. If you look at any fictional story today, it's impossible not to find a trope that you've already encountered before. Of course, you would. You'd see all these over and over but it's always up to the writer to make it sound new and fresh and out of this world, if possible. It's the writer's job to make it sound so different from other stories that they wouldn't think of referring to an index of tropes to pinpoint which ones apply to the story. I could say that writing fanfics for years helped me understand this and I am glad I did dabble into fanfic writing. Yes, it helped me grow as a person. Yes, it influenced me to be a good person. Writing a story about other people and being sensitive about the way you represent a certain person on your stories, especially if they're real, living human beings, would make you a better person in general. You wouldn't want to paint someone in a bad light because you hate an idol, right? If you do, get out of here and get some help. Here's an example to help you understand the growth I have been through: I could easily write Chen as a player casanova but I refuse to now. Why? Because he's a (possibly) married man with a child of his own. I can't see him any other way. It's my responsibility as a writer to understand that this new Chen should be represented properly in my stories. So, if you see my story, The Perfect Pour, you'll see him as a married policeman with a child. That's it. Another example is when I deleted my BIGBANG fics. I do believe in innocent until proven guilty but if and only if the ambiguity of the case presents itself throughout its very public run. I am totally against what SR did and I do believe he did it BUT if everyone around him starts to admit and pull him with them to the dive off a cliff, then that says something right? I don't want to dive deeper into this but I just believe that having those fics up meant support for a group that enabled such actions. If I can take them down, even if it meant losing hundreds and hundreds of readers, I would. Why 'no'? Now that hardest part and the very reason I am writing this right now: no, writing fan fiction is not aligned with my moral philosophy and doesn't help me in my quest for ethical responsibility. I am not a complicated person; I have a simple moral philosophy: to be good to others but be better to myself. There's really no way of explaining this further. It is what it is. What you see is what you get. How about my quest for ethical responsibility? I just want to be a law-abiding citizen with no criminal record. Now, I know what you're thinking: what does this have to do about writing fan fiction? It's just K-Pop, it's not that deep. The thing is, this is how we see it. For the longest time, I lived with a moral compass that told me this: As along as idols don't know we're writing about them, we're okay! We can keep doing what we do. It doesn't matter if they know we write about them. I am sure they do. So, what about it? They don't actually read it. Right? So, it doesn't make us bad if they don't know! Out of sight, out of mind. But let me ask you this: what do you think "knowing" means to these idols? When we say, "companies push the queerbaiting agenda to us to make us ship, to make us write, to keep a steady fanbase and so and so fort". What does it actually mean to the people concerned? Oh, yes, I am sure they know what we write about them but they also know that it could get sexual, brutal, and completely inappropriate one way or another. They know. But now that I'm learning more about myself, I see this: They are human beings with lives of their own but it's more often than not, out of their control. We the fans control them. The companies control them. The industry standards control them. So, if personal relationships they make are invaded with our stories, what does that make us? Just another pawn in the game. Just another key on the remote control. We're just another reason these idols don't live lives of their own. I do know that these fanfics are just stories. I do know what's real from what isn't. Trust me, I am sane in that way. That's why I guess, I've lasted for so long! Hell, my ult ship is KaiSoo. Kai has been to two (2) public relationships. I still shipped them hard. I did stop writing when he was officially dating and only continued when the relationships fell through. Like, right now, I am writing a KaiSoo fanfic because none of them is in a public relationship. I am comfortable with that. So, am I leaving? Will I stop writing RPF? No. I actually won't stop. Not like this. While I have a responsibility as a human being, I will keep on writing because I also have a responsibility to my readers. People have already read my work and they're mostly unfinished. I am going to finish them all and navigate from there. I probably won't write another KaiSoo fan fiction. I probably won't write another pairing fan fiction to be published online. But I will continue to write about great friendships made and probably more OC fanfics. Here's something I picked from the i-D article I linked above:
“Fantasising about someone without their consent is a private act and I don’t see ethical issues if you reserve your fantasy for yourself,” explains sex psychologist Jess O’Reilly, PhD, host of Drive Him/Her Wild video series. O’Reilly asks fan fiction writers to consider the the outcomes of their online narrations – not just any legal repercussions, but the ethical ones. “How might is make someone feel? How would their parents, partner(s), kids or friends feel about reading it? How would they feel if their friends and family read your work?” She says. “How would you feel if someone published a similar story about you, your child, your partner, your best friend, your sibling or someone else you love? I’m less concerned with the legal consequences and more concerned with the human ones.” Considering how emphatic fandoms and fan fiction readers can be, there is also a sense of community found in sharing these stories and others finding enjoyment in your fantasies. In doing so publicly, however, the risk remains that this fiction finds its way into damaging real people’s actual relationships, sex and sexuality. As with our dirtiest dreams and desires, fetishes and fantasies, it seems fan fiction really needs to remain in the private, fictional realm rather than the public eye.
I am not a perfect person. I have so many flaws and am still exploring myself and my purpose in life. This thinking could change. I can sound so deep now and forget I ever said these tomorrow. But if I can, as much as possible, be a good person, then I will try my best to be it. I am in no way influencing all of you to do the same. I just wanted to vent and share my journey.
2020.07.19 18:42 seeyouhoomanMy relationship with cancer started giving me so much anxiety and I started feeling suffocated
As an Aquarius moon and sun I declare the following: we need this kind of relationship where you see someone for a month and then get total freedom for one week and then go back to dating. But anyway all jokes aside... I started seeing cancer man once quarantine kicked in and last month we spent pretty much everyday together with a break for work. Few last days I started feeling so anxious and unhappy around him, I felt that I started suffocating and I felt like I was trapped. We were supposed to go to his friend’s birthday and I had to flake on it this is how much alone time I needed. Even the Guy isn’t the worst sometimes he does try to cut my wings off tho. So I’ve been alone for the last 12 hours and I was so happy, I felt like I took mdma or some shit. I don’t know how y’all do this marriage thing or long term relationship, I need me time SO MUCH I didn’t realize until yesterday
2020.07.18 00:19 AriesCaliGirl3UPDATE to ”Moving on?”
Here’s the link to my original post. https://www.reddit.com/aquarius/comments/hrvu8a/moving_on/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf Thank you to everyone who took the time to comment and lend advice. I very much appreciate it. I finally got an answer from the aqua man I was dating. He said that his ex is getting married and that he’s still hurt from it. He said he doesn’t want her but can’t have a relationship until he’s over it. I told him how I understand, etc. and how I wish he would’ve told me sooner and that I thought things were going good and that we wanted the same. He then said how they are or he thinks but he doesn’t want to hold me back and do you have to do I guess. Now I’m even more unsure of what to do. I know it’s ultimately my decision, but it’s just hard for me to let go and give up entirely. We’ve talked since but just light conversation. I guess I’ll just take it day by day. I won’t hold my breath hoping we can “restart” our relationship again... but it’s something I want/hope for. Thanks again for everyone who commented on my original post!
2020.07.12 04:05 Watamidoinghereffs26[M4F] Who likes romantic nerds?
Hi there! going to bullet point some stuff so its easier to digest. - I'm about 6'2 in height. - I'm dark skinned, blasian however I take more toward the black side of my family. - Quite the romantic with the right person. - I love Wolves and generally all animals. - Love gaming. MMORPG's mostly, but I play almost everything. - Love literature, especially fantasy and some old classics, same goes for great TV shows, give me Zombies, Swords, Post apocalypse stuff, Game of Thrones before stuff went back had excellent writing in earlier seasons, Dragons. - Lord of the Rings gets its own section because of how much I love it. - Very much a nerd, very into self development and bettering myself everyday. - Very goofy behaviour but can easily be extremely serious, love to lighten moods and make people laugh. - A huge empath. - I like to problem solve a lot. - Aquarius, I like long walks on the beach, beauty in all things, nature and art. - I adore and cannot live without creativity but I also utilise logic, balance is good but I prefer creativity. - I should mention I support minorities, have worked for charity, and support the LGBTQ community. - I've studied and worked in social media, computer games design and a few others currently work in audio books. - More of a night owl. - Enjoy anime. - I do enjoy conspiracy theory, horror things also at times, it's interesting to see how deep things go in rabbit holes at times. Not saying I believe any/all of them, but its often interesting. - Would definitely sleep in a haunted house. Cabin, do some crazy stuff like jumping out of a plane cause why not. Forget to mention hopeless romantic, large chance of proposing under a waterfall in the middle of absolutely nowhere. - Friends with a few practising Wiccan's and Pagan's so, Pagans welcome, no religious bias here, happy to hear what you believe in. - Mostly an introvert but with the right person the outside world can be great. I hope to see live animals like Orca's, Whales and Wolves out in the wild in person one day. - Willing to try many things in life and definitely want to explore. - Huge empath, your emotions will get stuck to me rather easily, it's also easy for me to pick up your mannerisms. - Have a semi Americanised accent, going to keep a few other things secret so you have things to ask about! But hobbies in general range from gaming, reading, watching things, discussing, researching wild and wonderful things, love for mythology, editing videos, being creative. I should also mention I'm a very honest and open person, I'd rather say "Don't want to discuss that" than flat out lie, its just one of my personal life rules, I try to be the best I can be everyday and I understand quite a bit about human behaviour, body language, psychology and generally I've been out of the dating game for a while mostly to work on myself so I could be the best me for whoever my partner could be, I'm quite happy with myself as a person but I can always do better. I look forward to meeting any and all of you, also happy to share pictures if you're unsure, to me physical attraction is sort of a bonus but I completely understand and will not hate on others, just looking for love here. I do say age is nothing but a number, I've had partners older than me for sure so that doesn't bother me, just please try to mesh with me on a mature level and it goes without saying when I talk about "age is nothing but a number, I mean 18+ of age, to Idc what age." happy to friend to see how things go.
I'm a Scorpio Sun, Aquarius Moon female and I've always been drawn to Aries in all sorts of relations. My best friend and sister are both Aries. I've been curious about meeting and dating an Aries male. Anyone have experience with this type of relationship?
2020.07.10 06:39 hailyourself-dogHelp! How to read an Aquarius woman
Hi friends! So I (F: Scorpio sun) have been on some dates with someone (F: Aquarius sun) who I’m super into but I can’t read her at all. When we spend time together, we have a ton of fun, are super flirty, talk for hours, and seem to have great chemistry. We’ll end our dates and text a bit but then I won’t hear from her for weeks. She’ll say things like “oh next time, we have to go to this park” etc. so it seems like she wants to continue hanging out. The problem is that I feel like I’m usually the one reaching out for dates or reaching out for a chat. I have been limiting my contact a little so as not to come off as clingy. I definitely prefer the independent vibes all around. I know that Aquarius people can be aloof but I can’t tell if she is actually into me. Should I trust my gut about her being interested based on our in-person interactions or take it as a sign that she isn’t interested because we can go weeks without talking or hanging out. I’m used to be the mysterious one in the early stages of dating so this is kinda fun but kinda nerve-wracking. Apologies if this isn’t the right sub for such a question. Cheers, thanks for any insights!
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